Now I Am

I learnt Cairns last week

I felt myself grow heavy

And start to drown

Simply trying to stay afloat

Now I am —

A vessel that is used

More than it is maintained

An ocean that is pissed in

More than it is sailed

An expanse that is feared

More than it is worshipped

Now I am 

Fading

I learnt St Peters today

I felt myself twist and grow 

Into something that I 

Never wanted to become

Now I am —

A skin that is roughed

More than it is touched

A mind that is broken

More than it is tended

A husk that will shatter

More than can be restored

Now I am

Fading

I will learn Darwin soon

I will feel myself fall into nothing

And begin to dissolve

I will shake and then

I will disappear

Then I will be —

A body that is starved

More than it is fed.

A heart that is squeezed

More than it is inflated

A void that is widened

More than it is filled

I will disappear