Past Times

~

“Luke?” It was Samson from the end of the bed. “I think today is the day.”
Luke sat up, pushed back the covers and rubbed his eyes, “Really?”
Samson nodded, but only just. He was holding two cups of coffee and kneeling on the bed, as if he was about to pray. They were both quiet, taking in the moment, silently acknowledging it.
Luke broke the silence, “That’s good. I’m glad.”
Samson looked up and held out a cup. A small smile crept out from behind his nervousness.
For a while they sat in silence and drank their coffee as if the world didn’t exist.
“We’ll be late for work,” Luke said suddenly, as he abandoned the bed and went looking for his polo. “Wear that nice grey button-through with the spots. She likes that.”

They dressed without a word and left in their separate cars.

When they arrived, parking at different ends of the lot, Samson went in first. He always did.
Five minutes later, as always, Luke went in.
The locker room stunk to high heaven, but then, that was the norm. The overweight security guard was changing his socks in the corner. A few of the younger boys were huddled around a small blue phone screen over near the urinals. Luke and Samson changed and put away their bags — the morning was only just coming to life. Luke shut his locker and left Samson alone. They always took this moment — to steady themselves; to warm to the pan; to pull away from their secrets.

Out on the warehouse floor things were as they had always been: busy, noisy, filled with movement. Samson felt his personal phone buzz in his jacket pocket.

You’re sure about tonight?

He bit his lip. The anticipation grew inside of him as he punched a reply.

I’m excited.

Nothing for a moment, and then….

You made a good choice, she really is pretty. You get the first time baby. And then you get me.

Samson choked down a knot in his throat and tried to keep the blood from rushing to his cheeks. Luke was his one — had always been his one; would never stop being his one.

As if on cue, his work phone buzzed. It was a group email from Luke to everyone on Floor Management. There was going to be a meeting after lunch over in the boardroom on the other side of the complex. Samson could easily read the underlying tone and the unwritten instruction — they had to prep. A lot of shit had gone down in the past few weeks and the three of them — Luke, Marnie, and Samson himself — had to make sure they could prove that their department was under control. Samson straightened himself and took stock of the floor with a refreshed seriousness that he had self-taught.

The boys were doing okay considering the heat. Everyone seemed happy and busy.

Just as Samson was about to pull up one of the new kids for wearing non-regulation boots, his work phone buzzed again. Luke wanted an informal at the maintenance desk. The boots would have to wait.

Walking quickly across the floor, Samson spotted Marnie already perched on the desk, one leg crossed over the other, tapping on her phone. She’d probably been there for ten minutes already — the girl didn’t know what tardy meant.

When she looked up and saw him approaching, Samson noticed her giving him a once-over. And then a mischievous smile. Luke had been right about the button-through.

“Good morning, Samson.”

“Good morning, Marnie.”

They did this everyday. This ridiculous formal ritual that didn’t at all cool the spark between them. Samson knew it. Marnie knew it. Luke knew it, even when he wasn’t around.

But then there he was, Luke, coming up from the other end of the warehouse towards them. “Morning all,” he said with a curt smile and very serious eyes.

Samson and Marnie burst into laughter, but it was Luke who noticed the touch of her hand to Samson’s arm. Both men did a fairly good job of keeping the look they exchanged quiet and subtle. Now was not the time.

“If you children are done fucking around, I think we need to come to a decision about the two newbies. Fire, keep, turf to another department?” Luke leant against the desk and waited for their answer.

Marnie straightened up immediately and became all-business, “Keep Mason, but Chris is a write off. He’s been late three days in a row and he smells like….” She trailed off.

Samson let out a small laugh, “Old cheese. He smells like old cheese.”

The two of them erupted into laughter again and Luke couldn’t help but roll his eyes, “Fine. Cheese boy is gone. But I want Mason learning day shift, night shift, weekend shift, every fucking shift. I want him as an all-rounder. I don’t care if he has a social life, as long as he doesn’t have kids.”

“I checked already, he’s single. Available for all shifts.” Marnie was getting down off the table and straightening her skirt.

Luke was impressed — he shot her a wink and departed. Samson turned and followed, but not before he gently brushed an arm against Marnie’s.

Luke was walking quickly, intentionally. It was his serious walk. He didn’t turn as he talked, “Keep your mind in the game today Sammy,” the two of them stood close then, face to face, “I’ve got a plan for tonight, but it’s important that we maintain this.” He looked around as he said it, and then his eyes came back to Samson. This, was their daily life; their work; the heavy blanket that kept their secrets safe and warm and unseen.

Samson nodded and the hint of a blush rose up into his cheeks. He had allowed himself to indulge, even if it was only a tiny bit. The two of them hung in that moment, it wasn’t quiet or private, but it was secretly intimate. They both knew that the other felt an urge to embrace.

But not here. Later.

~

The meeting came. The meeting happened. The meeting was over. And the three of them felt worse for wear, secrets  or not. As they sat without words on one of the benches in the tea room, a heavy disappointment hung above.

Luke broke the silence. “Well, that could have gone better.”

“Understatement of the year.” It was Marnie, and she looked on the verge of tears.

Luke caught Samson’s eye and urged him on.

Samson shifted on the bench, moved closer to Marnie. “Hey. Hey. Marn, we did our best. The results stand for themselves, on their own, and if the big men upstairs can’t be reasonable and see that, it’s not our fault. We’ve come a long way since November. We couldn’t have done it without you.”

She looked up at him. There were fat tears sitting under her eyes, but she smiled, and so did Samson.

Luke stood up and turned to face them as he dialled a number in his phone, “Fuck this place. We’re gonna go to Rico’s, get drunk, and eat some goddamn tapas.”

~

Not fifteen minutes later they were sharing a tiny table at Rico’s. It was a coveted place, hard to get seat, but Luke had managed to work his way with the hostess and secure them a shitty little circular stand out front. It might have been considered a table by some, but the three of them decided they didn’t mind either way as they sipped on their very strong margaritas and tried to ignore the afternoon heat.

Luke checked his phone and slipped it into his pocket, “I’m gonna hit the john and start a tab.” Underneath the table his fingers slipped free from Samson’s. The two men didn’t exchange the look that they wanted to — Luke departed to the bathroom and Samson held Marnie’s eyes as they went back to discussing the intricacies of different personalities and testosterone levels on the warehouse floor.

Baby, don’t think I haven’t noticed your patience. Not long now.

The text from Luke almost made Samson weak, but Marnie pressing against him in the heat was the headlight in his eyes.

Samson; the deer.

~

Marnie was sweating. The shirt between the skin of her back and the plastic seat was drenched in warm, sticky sweat. Marnie felt the headache that was pounding inside her skull, the plastic of the chair underneath her bare thighs, the scratchy texture of the rope around her wrists.

She was outside. Crickets filled the night that surrounded her, and her mind swam. She wanted to throw up but there was nothing inside her. Marnie was hungry. She felt it in the very bottom of her stomach — an ache as if she hadn’t eaten in a week — and maybe she hadn’t.

The heat of flood lights flanked her, and there were two more at her 10 and 2. Grass beneath her feet; hot salty air around her head. Marnie cleared her throat and tried to turn around in the seat. Every part of her was stiff and sore.

“Hello?” Her voice came out dry and quiet, almost choked.

“Hello?”

No response.

She coughed and tried again.

“Hello?”

Nothing.

And then he appeared — slowly, intentionally, out from the darkness. “You’re very pretty Marnie. We saw it as soon as we met you. Inside and out, you’re perfectly vulnerable.” It was Luke.

Marnie swallowed the fearful bile that was creeping up her throat, “Where’s Samson? What’s happening?”

“He’ll be here soon. Don’t worry.”

She wanted to cry. She pulled at her restraints, it was fruitless and only made her feel more the fool. “What is this Luke?”

He huffed out a small smile and looked past her. Whatever he saw softened his eyes. The crickets seemed closer than before; louder — like a cheese grater against her ears.

Suddenly Luke moved to stand right in front of her. He put his hands on her face, on her cheeks almost tenderly and looked into her eyes, “We always wanted you darling, we just didn’t know how to tell you.” Luke looked past her again, as if to a God, and then he smiled. He was happy and calm, and she felt nothing but confusion.

From behind her Marnie felt a small brush of air and then she saw Samson in her peripheral, circling her chair and watching Luke. He didn’t seem to notice that she existed. As he walked it was with a confidence she had never seen before, and there was a cigarette in his hand. Smoke curled up in front of him.

Marnie had never seen him smoke anything. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but in the end she had no idea what it was. She closed her mouth again.

Samson came close and pressed a gentle kiss to her neck, as Luke knelt down next to her and watched them both, “You can’t tell anyone about this Marn. It will be our little secret. Ours forever - and you’re not allowed to tell.”

Marnie felt her skin tighten in fear as she pulled back from Samson. This Samson that she didn’t know. This lie.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to run.

Samson bit his lip, “Hmmmmm, we’ve waited a long time for this baby,” he turned briefly, “are you sure she won’t betray us?”

“She won’t.” Luke lit another cigarette. “She never will.”