Tuesday, October 4, 2022

Change






Change


~~ Find what you love and let it kill you

                    Charles Bukowski




“Where?”


“The park.”


“You’re going to the park?”


“That’s what I said, fool.”


“You never go to the park.”


“Well, I’m going now.” Summer picked up her phone and keys as she stalked toward the front door, she could almost hear Christopher grinding his teeth.


The air outside was cold as ice. The park? What was she thinking? The fucker was right, she never went to the park. And it was almost 9PM — not exactly the safest time for a girl to be out alone. 


Summer scratched the grit out of her eyes and stomped down the pathway. The park was her destination and that was all there was to it. A streetlamp flickered and she couldn’t help but think of that song. Her mind felt like it was on fire with Christopher — his stupid curly hair, the smell of his skin, the way he mimicked the call of the crows just like the fool that he was.


Who was the fool now? 


The park would make her feel better.


Summer rounded the end of the street and saw the dimly lit acres of green. Exactly what she had wanted — not a soul in sight. 


There was a bench but it was right in the middle of the park, near the children’s slide. Summer felt a little exposed in the park at night but she desperately wanted to sit; gather her thoughts; take a moment. 


The grass was wet and cold but she had bigger problems to be fair. A hat would have been a good idea. And a jacket. Hindsight…


“Hello?” It was a female voice.


Jesus!” Summer jumped on the park bench. Her phone fell onto the wet grass.


The girl was young. Long dark hair. Pretty as…well…


“Are you okay?” the girl asked.


Summer realised she was shaking; she took a breath. “Yeah, yes. Sorry. You scared the goddamn out of me.”


“Sorry. It’s just strange to see someone out here in the park late at night. Let along a girl.”


Summer scoffed. “A girl? I haven’t been a girl in a damn near decade.”


Dark Hair seemed confused. “Is everything okay?”


“Just kind of a shitty night.”


“I don’t want to freak you out but my friend is meeting me here.”


Summer looked around. “In the park?”


Dark Hair grinned. “You’re not exactly one to be judging.” She held out a hand, “Caroline, by the way.”


“Summer.”


Caroline sat down on the other side of the bench. She smelled of sweet tea and soap. 


“So what brings you here on a Tuesday night, all by yourself?”


Summer felt herself blush. “Boy problems, I suppose.”


“The worst kind of problems.” Caroline scrunched up her nose and shooed away some invisible flies.


Summer swallowed hard. “And so…why do you meet your friend in a park in the middle of the night.”


Caroline smiled. “Only the best things happen in the middle of the night.”


And just like that, there she was. Brown hair pulled back into a braid. Ring in her nose. Eyebrows to perfection. Summer bristled. It was bitches like this that Christopher wanted. He didn’t want Summer.


Brown Hair sat down next to Caroline and they exchanged a kiss. Summer swallowed again.


“Summer, this is Bronwyn.” Caroline never let her eyes stray from those lips. The tension was near deafening.


“Nice to meet you.” Summer felt herself shaking again and the whole thing was just way too weird. “I think I’ll head off home now.” Summer stood up and started to walk away through the wet grass.


Of course…there was that part of her, though…


“Wait!” It was the brunette, Bronwyn.


Summer turned and saw that they were both standing now. “Perhaps we could come with you?” Dark Hair — Caroline — was interminably confident it seemed.


“Ummm, what?”


Bronwyn bit her lip and Summer was sure that she died right there and then. “We could come with you to wherever you’re going?”


“To my house?”


“Sure.” They said it at the same time and there was that little death once again.


Summer gripped her phone in her pocket. “I mean, um, okay? My boyfriend is home though.”


 The two of them — Dark Hair and Bronwyn — laughed like fucking school girls and hopped, skipped, and jumped towards Summer. Was this a dream or a goddamn nightmare?


“We’re coming. It’ll be fun.”


Summer felt her eyes widen and roll, but perhaps they were right, a little fun should be had.


The house was only a two minute walk and Christopher was probably asleep by now anyway.  The three of them crept up the stairs and across the porch. The door opened without a sound and for that, Summer was thankful. She brushed her face and considered her life choices.


Caroline whispered. “Are you okay?”


Summer shook herself free of thoughts and nodded. “I’ll make some tea?”


Caroline smiled. 


As Summer turned on the kettle she noticed the other girl — Bronwyn — was gone. That was short lived.


“Look who I found.” The brunette had Christopher in her hand, guiding him into the kitchen.


Summer bit her tongue. “Baby?”


“There’s no time for ‘baby’ now.” Caroline was so close to Summer in an instant that was almost impossible. “There’s only time for this…” Her lips were all over Summer’s neck. Fingers in her mouth. Pulling at her hair. 


The words were on the tip of Summer’s lips — Wait, Stop, No—but of course, they were never spoken; she didn’t want to speak them. And then, those same fingers, brushing up between her legs, underneath her dress, touching the wet that was already there.


Where was she?


Christopher looked up from where he was lying in the bed. “Baby, are you alright?”


Summer crawled in the bed and pressed down onto him. In that moment, she knew she loved him. He made the sounds she was hoping for. She felt how much he filled her and the heat that they exchanged. His hands around her neck and the way he turned her over. She belonged to him. And so did those other girls.



~~~



The kettle dinged in the kitchen and Summer went to check on it. Dark Hair — Caroline — was in the way, rope still around her neck. Summer poured a glass of cold water. The other one could wait. Bronwyn? Summer dropped the glass. Blood on her hands, as it were. 


Christopher called from the bedroom. “Why are you awake? It’s the middle of the night.”


“Only the best things happen in the middle of the night.”