By the Same Name

Lo! There you are
I thought I’d lost you
Maybe hoped or perhaps prayed

Thought I’d left
Your spell in broken pieces
On the dirty floor

But here we are
I know your face
Didn’t outrun you in the woods

Didn’t survive you
On the sea, didn’t
Escape you ‘cross the dunes

Your creeping fingers
Made of black and
All the truths you torture with

Come flooding back
I hear the knock, but it’s
Too late, you’ve pushed inside

Old friend, you say
Touch my shoulder and take
A seat upon my bed

Maybe I always knew you’d come
Back to me when
I had but calmed

Back to our bond, and
Our dark corners
Back where we lay for o’ so long

And then much farther
Beyond purchase
That I have made; I’d come so far

Have you no pity
No moderation?
Will you test me once again?

My quickened blood
My cracked control
Eyes cast upon your curling smile

I feel it now
I’m stretched too thin
Already dead, I knew your name

I watched you slip
Into my dreams, and you
Grew huge: Leviathan

I’ll watch you bring me down
Again, I’ll watch as you watch it
All burn

Brother

this heat has fed my new-found addiction. dear God, save some forgiveness for me....


Brother


And I dreamt of your death woken quick in the night
But seemed day for sunshine, sweat-slicked skin ‘neath the light
Pondered grace and past self, stumbled through glass-black street
Hope shall stars twinkle less for now my end be meet.

Follow with you and your chance; render peace ‘midst this swarm
Enemies blind and lost, we shall rise, thin our storm
Life-hot tears crack me open, long for done though remain
These our promises be broken and our futures all but wane.

I have wont to worry of you and such child-like selfishness
Same moment, cast my soul toward Oblivion; heart enormous.
Sick with need, skin foul pallid, sticky cold and all undone
Such that you were, and are, above it and your better is to come.

With fettered limbs hung in temperance honesty quiets all our words
But fat lenses prove to damper calls of flighty, wing-clipped birds
And this worry be it useless, and this rusted, worthless frame
No cut true, for us be liars and our shared fear nought but shame.

O’ your sister; that I am. Cemented here, unmoved. Benumbed.
Remembering that happiness so surely spanned, crested love’s drum
All of your smile and dark-framed face, we missed you so, though time passed clean
For when I saw all fate become, as easy task to fit between.

Untitled [03.11.14]

You test me with malice ‘gainst the rough anchored ground
To surrender me to knees believing I am unbound
By the words that defile, by quick stabs to my chest
But it’s such turning change for I know you have messed,




What you’d thought was pure eat, steady hand touch my lung
Push the skin back to open. Let bee in, and be stung.
All your wars won’t be won and your tests I can’t pass
What was said shan’t be un’, not with my face through the glass.




And those keys you’d give me, though use gone: pointed loss
Doors I see up, down, far. Pined need cold; what the cost?
Money, gold, silver, blood. You’ll take pulse upon pound
‘Till you’ve sated the black want and I end, trapped; turned ‘round.




Drained but still to the hilt, longing stale. Envious.
Eyes so glassy, pushed, pressed you. Feel me now, insidious
Though that moon looms above, past is done, find this middle
I’ve come just to seek you, meet the source of cruel ripple.

Lady Fingers Shot Me Down

literally written by candlelight, the night before my last day perhaps


A crack of doom
and endless wasted
wait, for moon
My will protested

Fell down these steps
eyes blind fumbling
Tripped catch cut next
was torn from limb

A goat you need
I'm here, I'll sing
Blood mess will breed
Staunch bottom King

Still time beat breathe
Hands trussed in penance
Grin bare beneath
burnt ashy remnants

Sting of the whip
brash green sin's token
Warm crimson lines
Payment unspoken

Example made
on hands and knees
Shines silver blade
Hot shame, beg please

Hand pressed to jaw
contempt runs rife
They scream, rut, claw
put end to life

Such burning blame
with want for hold
Push, yield, play games
Your shape to mould

Ruined and stripped
Sleep take such mind
Wings caught, held, clipped
This; you designed.

Twofold

an exercise in cutting the fat on a poem that i wrote tonight. funnily enough i think it turned out better than the original, so here’s the skinny one:


Twofold



Knowledge of a bad idea.
Above, dark, storming.
Not the lucky ones
Cursed and wicked.

Pushed along
Can’t see
Down a hole
Rabbit in a fox-suit.

Don’t absolve my sins
For what are yours?
So wrong
I knew it was.

Sordid temptation.
We both falter.
Edging the truth
And we’re not forgiven.

Admit it, undignified.
Though I can’t
It’s indiscretion’s pull
A siren calling

I wanted and it was criminal
Indecent
Imagined, nothing more
So I hold

Needful force
Fire against my hand
Space; you deny
I’ll lose

Pointless yawning berth
And threatening dreams
My undoing
I blame you.

Distemper

My heart, powered by batteries,
Cold and plastic-hard
It doesn’t beat or make a sound.
Let me go now to where I desire.
To where I long for. For

My lungs, enlarged; infected,
They lift me up and help me float
Far from my troubles, chest up. Back to the earth
And back around again, back
To where I never slept.

My skin, dotted with steel meteor impacts.
Sink holes, raised scars
That will sit with me forever, in the light and the shade.
Broken veins and pink-hot cannula damage.
My baby who doesn’t breathe.

Who never did.

Untitled [24.09.14]

Sit in the corner of the lot
Give up,
Time stops not for you

Get lit and make promises
Bear down,
Reality won’t bend to your hustle

Love strangers against the dark
Make me,
Taking can’t be undone

Push poison through your blood
Feel it,
The broken things remain

Make a cut and open it wide
Watch me,
I’ll never die for you

Take my cracked soul
Do it,
This isn’t everlasting